Concerns about Suicide

Important: if you or someone you know is in danger of hurting self or others, call 911 or get to the nearest emergency room immediately!

If our loved ones are struggling with suicidal thoughts, we need to be wise and proactive. We want every resource on board to help us help our children in this most dire situation. The websites and hotlines listed in the sidebar relay credible and valuable assistance. In the hopes of offering extra insight, we wish to add notes about: the Hotlines, one Critical Resource plus an Additional Resource, and a Personal message.

Regarding the Hotlines:

Numerous websites and books share statistics about suicide, plus warning signs. The hotline phone numbers can be very helpful. We wish we had known that these lines are not just for the individuals considering suicide. We who love and support them can also call for help and consultation. (We called them to make sure; they were very gracious.) When we call, there’s a brief recording and just the slightest wait before we are on the line with a real person. They attempt to connect us with a local contact.

We recommend memorizing these numbers: 1.800.273.TALK and 1.800.SUICIDE.

Find a number for a local county agency, as well. They will assist us, and may have knowledge of institutions, resources, and support groups specific to our regions.

From the Heart of Kimberly…

Critical Resource:

Beyond providing links and resources, I believe the significant next step regarding suicide concerns is to introduce you to Susan Rose Blauner’s amazing book: How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me– One Person’s Guide to Suicide Prevention.

I can’t imagine a more thorough, more tender, all-encompassing resource on this most painful subject. This powerful title leads into a profound book brimming with help, heart, and hope. In addition to statistics and a plethora of resources, she provides a broad range of helpful material that gets to the heart of healing and suicide prevention.

Blauner offers techniques she calls tricks of the trade; teaches on the difference between fact and feelings, and identifying and accepting feelings; she presents many excellent exercises for dealing with emotions. Essentially, she explains how she out-thought her brain, and moved from suffering to hope that now entails encouraging others and sharing affirmations for positive living.

When she writes of how she felt when suicidal, gripping and heart-wrenching descriptions touch us with pain for her, while delivering perspective on how our own children hurt. I could just see my daughter all over this book, and wept through most of it. But it is beautiful and full of love.

The author speaks to the suicidal thinker, but we who love them can reap much benefit in the reading. She devotes a chapter to Helping the Suicidal Thinker. Susan Rose Blauner counsels us in coaching our loved ones, and provides encouraging coping statements and healing words.

I write with a spirit of tender urgency. I write because there is no time to waste. Individuals with bipolar disorder, major depression, or borderline personality disorder often live at the edge of despair. Many of us have already faced, or will face, the agony of a child’s suicidality. This book can support us in loving our children back to life. I highly recommend it.

Probably everyone should read it.

Additional Support:

Because we received no support or information whatsoever from the hospitals after our daughter’s suicide attempts, The Braveheart Connection will soon have available:

How to Cope When Your Loved One is in the Psychiatric Hospital
by Kimberly Griffin

Leaving someone we love in the psychiatric hospital is incredibly hard. So much pain is involved; and we had no idea what to expect. We’re sharing insight gleaned during our hospital experiences, practical help, and caring companionship. If your darling is in the hospital, or struggling with suicidal thoughts, you might consider this booklet, in addition to the book by Susan Rose Blauner.

Personal:

So much of the heartache we have experienced with our daughter has occurred while we’ve been grieving the loss of a baby. This daughter’s baby; our first grandchild. The devastation of losing a baby, to us, seems unparalleled. Coupled with the terror of losing our daughter to suicide, we have lived in constant fear and anguish.

We barely breathed through so many years of confusion, pain, and sorrow; and our daughter lived in a place of unspeakable darkness and emotional torment. Her mind was frantic to escape life, and every day was excruciating for her. She attempted suicide three times, and the last one nearly took her from us. From there it has been a long and tumultuous course before she ultimately made the decision to choose life.

We valiantly struggle onward, now with appropriate medications and a good counselor. We are hopeful! Yet we are still learning the many faces of mental illness, and the fear of suicide has been deeply ingrained.

How long will this occupy such a prominent place in our psyches? We don’t know. We continue to wrestle. As she gets better, we get better.

In the event that this might be helpful to you, I (Kimberly) want to share this personal prayer from a mother’s heart in the depths of distress. Reciting some variation of this is how I ended every day for years… night after night after night after long and tearful night. It was the only way I could close my eyes and hope for sleep.

Dear Heavenly Father– I am scared and worried about my girl. I pray, dear God, that she will not take her own life tonight. Dear God, I love her. You know how much this hurts. I pray for her safety and well-being. I am tired and I am hurting, and I need to go to bed. Dear Lord, I put her in your hands. Take care of her; she’s Your child, too. Please take care of us all. Bless my family. Grant me peace that comes with believing I have done everything I could do today. Amen.